Sunday, April 03, 2016

We All Have Good Reasons

I say I have a good reason to keep the money
I say I want to help the world
That I’m doing it for them not me

I say it again and convince myself I’m good
I say it enough that I really believe I would

But it’s not for them
I do it all for me
I want to be great
And set myself free

If I am smarter than the rest
If I make everybody notice
If I have more of all the best
If only I can be more than this

Then I think I can love myself
Then it will be okay
But it won’t.
I won’t
It’s a lie

I can just love myself now
Not anything to prove
I am worthy of love

I deserve the truth

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Cherry Blossom Life


It's a little fuzzy, this road of life.
Not knowing what's beyond the turn.
But I know where I've come from.
How I've struggled and been burnt.

I can see how delicate you are perfectly.
I touch you and feel your presence inside of me.
I couldn't imagine this more beautifully.
This sweet passing moment with you.
It's all I need.



Sunday, March 17, 2013

Big Choices

I was young then,
Just a boy going to school
It happened to be around the block
It was cold in the mornings
My mother told me I had to walk
Every morning I went to the classroom labeled 1b
There was a teacher I didn't know and like
It was the classroom assigned to me
I ate the food my mother cooked every night
Woke up in the morning when she said it was time
I had the same hobbies as my older brother
All of which were encouraged by my father

Finally I found a way to be different
Dying for individuality by middle school
I started being bad and acting the fool
There was no good outlet for me to see me
Nor did another show me how to really be
Molded into the struggling young man
Pressure from school, family, and friends
But that is not who I wanted to be
Desperate to escape
Desperate to feel free

16, I got a car and could drive anywhere
I thought the open road would make me cool
Except that I didn't have money for entertainment or fuel
And just a few hours before my curfew time
I stayed out late to get really high
But it wasn't much of a choice
More of the cheapest way to escape
Trying to run away from a world
One I was born into and didn't make
But real men don’t run away
They take what they have been given
They use it to work
They use it to fight their way

But I still wasn't the real me
In my craziness I wouldn't feel anything
Needing a friend to show me a real something
My brain half blunted
I didn't really want to be buried
It felt good for a while
I just wanted to disappear in style

I sobered up and went back to school
Nobody was forcing me
Just another thing I was expected to do
My first real choice was to choose my major
I chose my classes, the places, and times of day
I chose when to study
I chose not to play

I started to date
I liked to think I had my way
But really most of the time they choose me
They weren't many and I wasn't picky

I changed to a different major
Refocusing on my studies and my future
I learned more about myself and the world
Knowledge was the eraser erasing my blur
I moved into Stout Hall, the old cheap dormitory
A pinch of rebels, addicts, outcasts, and freaks
I added to the crew and joined the …… community

Was it time for my first big decision?
Making it after college graduation
I didn't slave to another for an easy buck
I went to the end of the world, a place far off
Everyone told me not to go
It was exactly what I needed to work, play, and grow
Poor little village from first world city
Giving time to others with no money
It was a great adventure and best part of my life
Even the moments I hated then, I look back and love
Learned good and more bad about what I was made of

I wanted the adventure to never end
Went to more countries teaching English
It would seem as if my career began
My job wasn't much more than conversational prostitution
Years rolled by and I became a professor
My loans were all paid, no need for a longer stay
I could go anywhere and live and play

I continue on working my passion on the side
I study, read, and write looking for my idea
I think, sit, and scribble about my mission
My contribution is to help my brother’s fruition
I work best with this goal in my mind
Testing myself while I strive

I became a man. 
It means picking my cause and giving my everything
I make sacrifices, lose friends and say goodbye to lovers
It is terrible but eventually I will gain others
As a child I was a passive observer of a life happening to me
As an adult I am happening to my community
To be a man my big choice is my path of life




Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Back on Eden


In the air the angels play the songs from an age of awe
The lyrics are written as great art making the wall

He whispers soft words and peace flows from his lips.
She gently strolls down the path as harmony rolls off her hips.

In a place filled with consciousness and peaceful absolutes.
In their mouths they taste the juice of the sanctified fruits. 

The fruits glisten as pure water gives them their richness
Young lovers taste in it innocence and original sweetness
                                   
The fruit’s bodies are as strong as the sunlight from which they grow. 
It is their life, the only thing they know. 
  
God gave us Eden and we fell.
If we get back to Eden, will we dissolve from this hell?

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I want to know.... you soulmate

I want to know…..

Can you see behind closed eyes?

Giving you faith in the other side?

Can you hear the soul whisper?

About the win to the infinite power?

Can you teach a lost soul how to be found?

Dance a holy dance on a sacred ground?

Can you move slow?

Make your voice sing low?

Is your love still alive?

Or is lost deep inside?

Can you find peace in the obscene?

And listen to the deepest meaning?

Do you guess the end of it all?

And remember before the first fall?

Can you teach me the way?

I seem to have forgot my place.

Do you dance in between the beats?

Building your spirit unto a peak?

Can you control your dreaming?

And hear wisdom in the street screaming?

Are you experienced enough to be wise?

Can you feel the stare of another’s eyes?

Can you meet me in your secret place?

Listen to my silence of nothing more to say?

Monday, September 26, 2011

What is this ball for?

There is a ball in most of the popular games.

A basketball, baseball, tennis ball, football, soccer ball, and rugby ball.

In a match everyone can see them.

People use them to score points and beat the other team.

There is another ball, one that is often in dreams.

It looks like a door handle, a balloon, or a button on the wall.

In a dream, it is a veil.

It is a person’s soul and it can be used it to see one self.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Beautiful Crime

These sweet words that I whisper in your ear.

I don't know where they come from and I really don't care.

I'm not out of control in anger but out of control in love.

When I see you sweet girl, I can't want you enough.


So we sit on the beach drinking red wine.

I gaze in your eyes as your hand falls in mine.

The ocean is smooth mirroring the full moon’s yellow light.

It rests above the horizon glowing pure and bright.


The reflection in the water shows us two moons.

One of them is for me, and the other is for you.

And as the night drifts on the moon settles close to the sea.

Both of the moons draw together, just like you and me.


And finally they touch and are in one another.

In that moment we surrender, coming together.

I am in you and you are around me.

Our boundaries are merging setting us free.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Life

I was born through the backdoor.

That is why everything is slow to me.

I go deep down to be born again.

That is why I love to sleep.


In that place all my burdens dissolve.

That is why I can see something beautiful.

Yet my memory is taken when I awake.

That is why I go there again searching.

A sweet memory of a faded dream lingering.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

At The Bar

I am feeling empty.

I am feeling blue.

I’m going to fill up half on alcohol,

And half on you.


It’s going to be fun

And it’s going to be nice.

And who knows where it will lead

If it all goes right.


But in the morning the alcohol leaves me,

And you have something you have to do.

I will be left feeling even more empty

And even more blue.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

혼자

(Alone)

진짜 나는기분이 너무 공허해요.
왜냐하면 내가 가진 많은 사랑을 주고싶어요.
그런데 그렇게 못해요.
난 혼자 살아요.
내 아파트에서 혼자.
작은 세계에서 혼자.
집에 같이 이야기할수있는 누나 가 없어요.
집에 싸울수있는 형이 없어요.
집에 같이 배울수있는 아버지가 없어요.
집에 고자질할수있는 어머니가 없어요.
그래서 나는 친구를 찾아 세계를 여행하죠.
하지만 다음엔 많은 것이 달라지겠죠.
우리는 다시는 같지 않을 거예요.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Ascended Master to lost child.

If you trust me, the way that I do you,

We will reach the end of the road together.

I try to lead you on the shortest and easiest path,

But not when it leads to destruction.

...

I have the experience and wisdom to love you,

To know when to do something even if it hurts,

So I can watch you grow.

When I can I give you the gift of happiness in care

And watch you rejoice,

These are my proudest days.

...

But I know sometimes you can’t understand why I am this way,

Why I don’t do this or that.

It pains me that the only way I know is this struggle,

But I want you to know that I AM HERE and I love you.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Life is so funny.

I get out of bed at half past 2
I see a new girl is wearing your shoes
She doesn't have a fancy car
Much better at playing the guitar

But it hurts
It stings
It burns
And it bleeds

We could have been great lovers
We could have at least been friends
But you chose to be cold
And then you chose revenge

I turn
I toss
I can't eat
I am lost

She likes them just as much
Or maybe even more than you
This girl who is playing the guitair
And wearing your old shoes

Sunday, April 11, 2010

rebounding

There is a young man, mad at the world.
He is drinking alone, sitting on a bar stool.
He waits. The night lingers. He doesn't care.
She glances, smiles, and entices with a stare.
He meets her, loves her, and forgets her.
She loves him and hates him but never knows him.
Tomorrow night both are empty and neither has been heard.
Both have one more reason to be mad at the world.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

wakeful dream

Every word blessed with meaning
Every song a poem of being
Every home a painting come to life
Every breath a meditation in light
Every meal arranged as art
Every touch a polished kiss
Every exchange a refined gift
Every dream a magical trip
Every dance and intimate step
I want this purposeful living
And hunger for wakeful existence
Instead I sleepwalk through the day
Ignoring the people to my left and right
And stare at empty faces as I dream in the night

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Exit #8

The bright and brilliant rain comes.
The Earth shakes.
And the dove flies away from here.
It disappears into a white fluffy cloud.
And nothing is left here.
No sound, nothing to see, nothing to hear.
Just a memory dissolved away.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

M-an-imal

mANIMAL

My body screams yes.
My spirit answers no.
“PROTEIN, PROTEIN, PROTEIN,” she screams!
“MURDER, MURDER, MURDER,” the reply.
I wake up every morning a vegetarian,
And go to sleep every night a carnivore.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Little White Snowflake Lies and the Avalanche

Dedicated to Pla "Bangkok Girl"

Well, I thought
I ought.

So, I said
I did.

But, you couldn’t know
I didn’t go.

And, I am untrue
To me and you.

Now, I always lie
Carrying the pain inside.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

LOVE was the answer

I asked her where to go.

She said love would guide us.

I asked what I/we should do when I/we get there.

They said love would tell me.

I asked him what the answer to my question was.

He said love was the answer.

I asked him how I could really know.

He told me love would make me sure.

I wondered what I should do next.

I figured I should probably start loving.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Yes, No, Maybe

Yes, You look familiar and yes you look cool. I have traveled all around so sometimes I forget where I have been. Have I ever met you along my way?

No, I wasn’t there but heard it was fine and nice. I will probably go next time. If we cross paths, I will probably see you there.

Maybe, I will be there and maybe I will see you around. Maybe this meeting was just a coincidence but maybe we will be more.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Revisted Prayer of St. Francis

Where people seek miracles, let me bring marvelous God sends.

Where people seek happiness, let me bring gleeful joy.

Where people seek growth, let me bring escalated development.

Where people seek wisdom, let me bring insightful thinking.

Where people seek spirituality, let me bring sacred holiness.

Where people seek affluence, let me bring abundant prosperity.

Where people seek intention, let me bring direction and guidance.

Where people seek light, let me bring radiant illumination.

Where people seek peace, let me bring tranquil serenity.

Where people seek healing, let me bring holistic therapy.

Where people seek the source, let me channel Jesus Christ.

Where people seek love, let me accept them and care for them.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

sixteen days in south korea

Here I rest, taking a break at work
My days are too long and my nights are to short
But it seems to be that things get easier everyday
Especially since I remembered to not treat myself in a mean way

See, I worry about what I am going to eat
I worry about the places my friends should meet
I worry about internet, money, and telephones
I worry about so much, all and one

But when I sit back and take a breath
When I enjoy the breaks that life gives
When I simply just take the time to look around
The possibilities exist for life abound

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Such is Life

I sought, I ought
I spoke truth, I lied

I struggled, I fought
I lived, I died

Traveling wide
I learnt it all

But having no guide
Was born to fall

Monday, January 16, 2006

Lying Still

As we lie here, so still, behind closed doors
I forget which body is mine and which is yours
My hands are wrapped all around you body
And I am touching your skin so soft
We just lay on the couch leaving the TV off
We have no music, no movies and no entertainment
We are just lying still, drinking up each other’s presence

All Alone

He’s so alone in this world
No mother to talk too
No brother to stand beside
So abandoned in this country, on his motorcycle he rides
Maybe some day he will ride to another town
Maybe he will even see his lost sisters
Are they married?
Do they have kids?
Are they divorced?
It has been over ten years since he heard his sisters’ voice.

He’s so alone in this world
No woman to talk too
No friend to fight beside
So lost in the city, in its streets he does stride
But walking the streets, he knows all their names
He gets only blank looks from empty souls
And he can give them back only the same

He is so alone in this world
No daughter to talk too
No son to be beside
So lonely in this house, only he abides
His future is the graveyard
A single priest by his bed, for his last rites
So despair, he carries so much pain
His work goes unnoticed
And his charity is unseen
Almost his whole life, he had only me
I paid for it to be written on his headstone
That, “This poor guy was all alone.”

Father’s Day with no Dad

A God dims his glow
And his magic stops it’s flow
A gentle man with peaceful heart
My dad had pains, he could not stop
The pressure built that made him suffer
He was not a fighter but a lover
He was not fit for the circumstance
Coerced upon him by ugly chance
My dad, I remember and still cry for
I still don’t understand this fucking world
I try to go back when I had a place
I was at home just seeing his face
Destiny is calling but it’s all different now.
The days are good but lost their intent somehow.
I remember my dad and
I still don’t know why he had to go.
And why the Gods dimmed his glow.

Eight C's

The first C is for Credit Card and Cash and everyone knows
Girls like guys that use them and to them all other guys blow.

The second C is for Career, which is a job.
And if you don’t have one, every girl thinks you’re a slob.


The third C is for Condominium or place to play.

If you don’t own one, no girl is going to want to stay.


The fourth C is for Club or bar or place where you go with your girl to meet your friends.

It may be like Cheers if it is a bar or maybe a Church if you don’t drink beer.


The fifth C is for a Car, which makes it so you can give her a ride.

The fact that a guy doesn’t have one, is one fact he is going to have to hide.

The sixth C is for Cell phone, which we all use to make calls.
And if you don’t answer when your girl phones, your relationship is in for a fall.

The seventh C is for Computer and Camera so you take pictures put them on facebook and send them in emails.
If you don’t have these, you just might be okay for a little while but sooner or later without them every relationship fails.

The eighth C is for Condoms, which guys like to get and use.
Got to have the first seven C’s though or the only real question in life is when you sit at home alone which television show are you going to choose?


It is kind of sad what momma said, “just be yourself, just be you”
It took me so long to figure out it is so not true.
She told us guys to be nice, funny, and intelligent

But it is really the eight C’s that guys really need to get.

Hollow

Your empathy is not felt
And your sympathy is hollow
You have come and gone
And now the hour is desperate
You do not come by or call
Sitting there in your chair
You say you are sorry
But your sympathy is hollow


It is so easy to be sorry
So easy to let it all be on me
And not have to do with you
It is my problem, my situation
And you don’t feel responsibility
We are not a team,
We are not friends or neighbors
Just two people that pass each other
But do not share one another


Your sympathy is hollow
Because you say you understand
But you will not stand to help
You do not lift a finger
You just give idle words
And walk away
Like I am not you or you not me
But the truth is we are one and
You turn your back on me
Is turning your back on you.

Krispy Dream

Oh creator of the Krispy Krème
How did you make such a sweet dream?
I figured it was time for me to eat
Such a creation so delicious and neat.
I called my mom and told her to come

But I asked one little thing before she left home.
Do you know what it was?
Can you guess my great scheme?
I asked her to bring a bit of the sweet dream.
She got off the plane after a long flight.
I told her I had not eaten since the last night.
Then out of her carry on
In to my sweaty palms

Came a bag of six sweetened golden charms
I admit they were not fresh, they were not hot
The icing was melted and their bodies were shot.
They were really in fact a day and a half old
But I don’t have to say, they unleashed pleasure untold.
I ate them all very quickly with incredible speed.
I thought about giving one a way as a good deed.
But I could not resist, I ate them all so fast
And at the end I had to go and take a long nap.
But it in my rest I had a great dream

About a little golden circle and the pleasure it brings




Anything....Really?

Saw a poor man walking down the street.
The man looked hungry and looked beat.
But driving thirty five he blurs by.

Is it really my duty to stop and help that pitiful sight?
Didn't he get himself in that situation?
And no one told me to help him.

But in the book there is a message of love.
Wasn't there a message from the son?

Do anything for anyone.

But you know sometimes it sure feels like my spirit is tired and beat.
And if God happens to pass by my street.
It sure seems like he takes a minute to help me.
Sometimes even does miraculous things.
and when God's flying a way
A message deep down in the heart is
Just like anything was just done for you
Do anything for anyone for true loves sake.

It has to be that the son stops for people on the street
It has to be because that man on the street,
Spiritually is really me
My long days have me confused and hurt
and the spirit comes to comfort
The spirit does anything for anyone

And so tomorrow when the homeless man blurs by
It is my turn to turn around and say hi
Talk to him and make sure on the cold winters day
At least this one homeless man has a warm place to stay
And at that moment two blessings take place
One for the homeless man and one is in my heart
The whole thing happens by God's grace
Blessed is the message of the son
Anything for anyone

Old Friend

Walks right up next to me
Starts talking about how things use to be
We are just two strangers, talking for the first time
And as we trade words, things just seem to become all fine

Then passing through my mind, there is a trace and a snap
And it is realized who this is

It is my old friend from the past
There is a new face on my old friend

He has died and been born again

Back together again we talk
and play
Together again, it is a splendid day

We have so much to learn and teach
Lessons forgotton but yet still within reach

We help make each others lives better
Life after life we help each other

Reunited with my old friend in a new face
Excited to just wake up, day after day